Working towards Gratitude…

With the New Year, there are lots of blogs about releasing negative patterns and feeling Gratitude all over the internet.  Everywhere you look on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook, there are well-meaning yogis, life or fitness coaches who #hashtag about gratitude. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but what if all of this gratitude stuff isn’t resonating with you right now?  Before you dismiss me as being all negative, let me explain…

If you have been going thru a transition, whether by your own choice or not, it can bring up a lot of different feelings and some of these may be the ones that No One Wants to Talk About…THE NEGATIVE ONES!!!! (Cue the music here).

Positive or Negative, feelings are just that, feelings. I find that it is better if you don’t attach judgment to them. Repressed feelings can keep you stuck in the past and prone to repeat old patterns. Some will repress their feelings in the name of positive thinking. This can make it hard to move forward, to embrace passion in your life, as well as feeling GRATITUDE. I agree with author Christiane Northrup, who says “With spiritual practices becoming very popular, so too is the practice of taking a “spiritual bypass” to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.” 

Painful feelings can actually be a gift in disguise. They are often clues that give you insight into what is going on in your life. If you are feeling resentment, maybe you are constantly putting everyone else’s  needs ahead of your own. If you are feeling restless, it may be time to make a change. Sometimes you can have mixed feelings about an event; this is okay too. It is possible to be happy and sad at the same time.

Taking the time to honor your feelings is an important part of self-care. Sometimes an interaction or an event can trigger a feeling; when this happens, take a moment, and do what you need to do to help yourself feel and possibly understand where the feeling is coming from. Sometimes when we feel pain, we shut ourselves down to try to cope. All this does is lock the pain inside us. Take time to find tools that work for you. These tools are helpful as you move thru a painful time and can help you start the process of healing.

You may want to try:

Journaling: a good way to get to know yourself & to understand your feelings.
Check out the following pages to help you get started:

Meditation:  quiet your busy mind so you can come back to yourself.
Check out these pages for more info:
*** You can also check out my blogs on “Meditation” and “Stress”.

Self Help Books:  a helpful tool if you are doing inner work. One of the best books that I have read about repressed or our shadow feelings is “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by the late Debbie Ford. She says, ” it is possible to acknowledge and accept our so-called weaknesses – and that in fact, these qualities may prove to be important hidden strengths.” We need to ” give ourselves the freedom to live authentically.”

Counseling: If you are feeling that you need more support as you examine your feelings, you may want to find a qualified counselor.

Using Essential Oils: Due to their different properties, using essential oils can be helpfulBlack spruce for our emotional health. Try personal inhalers or diffusing them if you are feeling stressed, anxious, angry, sad or anytime you want to relax, meditate and de-compress.
Essential oils to consider are Bergamot, Cedarwood, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Lavender, Lemon, Marjoram (Sweet), Melissa, Myrtle, Neroli, Black Spruce & Rose.
(You could also try my Healing Heart, Inner Peace, or New Day Diffuser Blends).

If you are starting to do inner work, please take small steps and be gentle with yourself as you examine your feelings and the events that may be attached to them. Christiane Northrup also says, “Being a human being on a spiritual path requires that you are present in each moment for all of your feelings – without letting those feelings define you.” Let go of any guilt or shame and be as compassionate with yourself as you would be with a friend. Remember that you really are doing the best that you can.
We can work on our Gratitude next month, this is enough for now…

My Blog is for information only & is not meant to diagnose or replace medical advice. Essential oils should not be ingested  & always need to be diluted before topical use.


  • Battaglia SalvatoreThe Complete Guide to Aromatherapy. 2nd edition,  The International Centre of Holistic Aromatherapy, Australia, 2003
  • Lembo, Margaret Ann. The essential guide to aromatherapy and vibrational healing. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2016.

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